| I'm sure only about two people read this anymore, but I don't care. It's 12:48 in the morning, I just got home from work, and I felt the urge to spill my life to xanga. The past few months have been crazy. After Renae broke up with me, I didn't know what to do. I was, and still am, in love with her. She treated me badly, but that wasn't what mattered. I love her, and nothing is going to change that. No matter how much my friends tell me that I'm setting myself up to get hurt again, they cannot change my mind. I tried getting her off my mind by dating someone else. I'm sorry I ever attempted that, because I only hurt Whitney in the process. Yes, Whitney cheated on me. I still feel bad for hurting her. I should have never led her on to begin with. Now, I'm in the same dilemma I was in right after Renae broke my heart. I love her, I want to be with her, but I don't know if the feelings are mutual. We talk a lot. She's one of my best friends, and I tell her everything. She still comes to me when she's upset. Her great grandmother passed away just the other night, and she came to me crying. Of course, I was more than willing to listen to her, and I tried to talk her through it as best I could. I know it's hard to experience death, especially when it's somebody you were so close to. It really makes me want to cry when she tells me how upset she is. I still love her so much, and I want to make her happy, just like I used to. I'm not sure why I'm even typing this anymore. I only continue to repeat things I already know. I've been talking about her all day. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell her I still want to be with her... |
| |
| Since I never update anymore:
Life has been wonderful lately. I've spend a ton of time with my amazing girlfriend, Renae Ann Engel. I love her more than anything, and I'm lucky to even know her. I've been working at Wendy's a lot (30-40 hours a week), and I applied at Apple on Sunday. They called me the next morning for an interview. I scheduled it for Monday at noon, so everyone wish me luck. If I get the job I'll continue to work at Wendy's, but only one or two days a week just for a little extra income. I went on vacation to Minnesota/Canada last week, and it was fun even though it rained a lot. I only caught 4 smallmouth, but I still enjoyed myself. I finally filled out my registration for UC orientation today and sent it in. I'm not ready for college, but I'm excited nonetheless. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, but I'll let that be decided as I go. My graduation party is Saturday at 3:00 at my house. Everyone is invited. I'd love to see you all there. If you need directions, let me know. |
| |
| rekindling friendships makes me smile.
thanks<3 |
| |
| tomorrow:
 |
| |
| I'm tired.
This weekend was okay.
I didn't see Renae as much as I would have liked.
Friday I worked 4-close.
Renae brought me chipotle and starbucks.
She hung out at wendy's for like 3 hours.
Saturday work was lame.
After work I had Renae over for dinner.
I also bought razr's for my dad and i.
They're cool.
Renae had to go home early.
I sat at home by myself for most of the night.
Today i went to church.
Work sucked.
After work I finished my government project.
Now I'm home.
Waiting for Renae to call.
Then bed.
Goodnight. |
| |
